HISB: Charlie Chaplin punya suara agak power sebenarnya!!

I'm sorry, but I don't want to be an emperor. That's not my business. I don't want to rule or conquer anyone. I should like to help everyone if possible - Jew, Gentile - black man - white.

We all want to help one another. Human beings are like that. We want to live by each other's happiness - not by each other's misery. We don't want to hate and despise one another. In this world there's room for everyone and the good earth is rich and can provide for everyone.

The way of life can be free and beautiful, but we have lost the way. Greed has poisoned men's souls - has barricaded the world with hate - has goose-stepped us into misery and bloodshed. We have developed speed, but we have shut ourselves in. Machinery that gives abundance has left us in want. Our knowledge has made us cynical; our cleverness, hard and unkind. We think too much and feel too little. More than machinery we need humanity. More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness. Without these qualities, life will be violent and all will be lost.

The aeroplane and the radio have brought us closer together. The very nature of these inventions cries out for the goodness in man - cries for universal brotherhood - for the unity of us all. Even now my voice is reaching millions throughout the world - millions of despairing men, women, and little children - victims of a system that makes men torture and imprison innocent people. To those who can hear me, I say: 'Do not despair.' The misery that is now upon us is but the passing of greed - the bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress. The hate of men will pass, and dictators die, and the power they took from the people will return to the people. And so long as men die, liberty will never perish.

Soldiers! Don't give yourselves to brutes - men who despise you and enslave you - who regiment your lives - tell you what to do - what to think and what to feel! Who drill you - diet you - treat you like cattle, use you as cannon fodder. Don't give yourselves to these unnatural men - machine men with machine minds and machine hearts! You are not machines! You are not cattle! You are men! You have the love of humanity in your hearts. You don't hate, only the unloved hate - the unloved and the unnatural!

Soldiers! Don't fight for slavery! Fight for liberty! In the seventeenth chapter of St Luke, it is written the kingdom of God is within man not one man nor a group of men, but in all men! In you! You, the people, have the power - the power to create machines. The power to create happiness! You, the people, have the power to make this life free and beautiful - to make this life a wonderful adventure. Then in the name of democracy - let us use that power - let us all unite. Let us fight for a new world - a decent world that will give men a chance to work - that will give youth a future and old age a security.

By the promise of these things, brutes have risen to power. But they lie! They do not fulfil that promise. They never will! Dictators free themselves but they enslave the people. Now let us fight to fulfil that promise! Let us fight to free the world - to do away with national barriers - to do away with greed, with hate and intolerance. Let us fight for a world of reason - a world where science and progress will lead to all men's happiness. Soldiers, in the name of democracy, let us unite!

Ucapan ini actually diambil dari Charlie Chaplin's movie yang bernama: The Great Dictator. And sebenarnya cerita lawak, cerita nak menghentam Hitler. Orang cakap best, aku pun tak sure. Berminat jugak nak tengok. *Jeling kat drummer desu! sebab dia suka Hitler. Hahahah*

Tapi cuba korang dengar speech dia.Tak rasa relevant sangat-sangat ke dengan dunia sekarang. Eh rephrase, tak rasa relevant ke sampai akhir zaman? Hahaha. Manusia dan perang. I'm not talking bout perang dengan negara-negara lain je. Perang sesama sendiri (contoh parti politik berperang dok tunjuk siapa yang betul siapa yang salah) Nothing new there.

But we can make a different right? Can we?
Mmm...I don't know. Most of the time aku just buat-buat tak nampak.
Buat- buat tak tahu.

*sigh*

Banyak kali jugak tak puas hati dengan kerajaan sendiri. Tapi fikir-fikir. Mungkin aku rasa selesa sangat kut dengan negara sendiri. Sampai perasaan nak melawan tu macam kurang sebab takut, kalau melawan nanti dah tak selesa dah. *sigh*

Kerajaan, aku percaya dengan kau. Tolong, jangan musnahkan kepercayaan. Whatever's good for my own country, I'm down with it.

As an individual, I'm trying my best to spread kindness. Pemaaf. Bertolak-ansur. (haha susah kau tau takkkkkkkk? sebab aku kaki gaduh) You know do things yang dapat mengelakkan kau dari rasa benci. Rasa nak bergaduh. Bagi aku, kurangkan perasaan benci, tak puas hati, dunia maybe jadi a little bit happy sikitl

Ntah lah. Cakap banyak boleh lah. Nak buat? Err.

I hate this kind of shit.
It makes me sad.

FYI Things that make me sad (sad as in buat aku menangis uwa uwaaa):

Orang mati.
Kucing mati.
Anjing mati.
Perang.
Orang yang layan aku macam taik.

Now I am sad.

Kbye.

Info pasal movie: IMDB
Speech Transcription:Speech

HISB: Waktu kecil saya nak jadi ________, tetapi bila besar saya jadi _______.

Jawapan aku : Saintis, Eksekutif Cabuk.

Masa kecil time darjah-darjah, jangan buat main aku ada scrap book with all the specimens I collected from my backyard. Aku cabut daun. Aku bunuh semut. Aku bunuh ulat gonggok.Selotape dalam scrap book. Then tulis, mana aku dapat, lepas tu aku list bahagian-bahagian specimen tu.

Cam sial kan?

Sigh.

FYI, I was offered to be a (process development) scientist last year. But I turned it down, because I don't want to sacrifice my fun life in KL. WTF, I KNOW. BUT I'M A FUN PERSON, YOU CAN'T BLAME ME FOR WANTING TO BE A FUN PERSON! Ala aku dapat kerja tu pun sebab aku ada bakat dalam bullshitting. Mamat omputih yang interview percaya je dengan semua bullshit aku bila aku cakap aku bersedia untuk belajar lebih! NOT REALLY!

Kenapa tak jadi Saintis?

Bila aku belajar di universiti aku menyedari dalam usaha menjadi saintis tersohor ada tiga elemen penting yang aku perlu ada:

99% Kesabaran
0.9% Tuah
0.1% Kepandaian

Seriously, I can't wait. I'm not brilliant enough to be a scientist. I hate uncertainties. And that's what science all about. The uncertainties are the driven factor that makes you want to know more. Don't get me wrong, I DO want to know more. But I don't want to wait. I want everything is in front of me without me doing anything. I wish I were rich enough like Bill Gates so that I could hire a few (mad) scientists to find answers for things that I really want to know about. Sigh. But I'm no Bill Gates, so I guess I have to make do with whatever our scientists are working on now. Go scientists go!

Stupid right? People like me, do not deserve to be a scientist. That's why I never want to pursue my life doing something I'm not capable of.

Sains: TERLAMPAU BANYAK KERJA, JARANG DIAPPRECIATE, PAINSTAKINGLY PRECISE WORK.

Untuk apa?

Untuk mengetahui kebenaran yang boleh membantu kita, makhluk lain, bumi dan apa-apa yang boleh dibantu.

Novel kan kerja saintis? Sangat kut.

So para saintis di luar sana,

I salute you so much! Keep doing the awesome work. Walaupun ambil masa 5 tahun ke, 10 tahun ke, 100 tahun. Aku tau korang mengamalkan konsep sabar itu adalah separuh dari iman. Go find cure for all diseases. Go find why brains work so miraculously, tetapi masih wujud manusia bodoh macam babi. Go find the answers.

Sebab tanpa korang, maybe kitaorang akan berada di tempat yang sama dengan pemikiran yang sama.

Scientists. I love you all.

By the way, korang masa kecil nak jadi apa, tapi bila besar jadi apa pula?


Kbye.

HISB: Tudung Yuna: Biarawati atau Jedi?

Aku nak tergelak baca komen fans yuna yang sentuh pasal style tudung yuna time ABPH kat fanpage dia.Thanks for making my day brighter uols!

Firstly, whattttt? Kau cakap dia macam biarawati (aku belajar perkataan ini lepas baca komen peminat dia). So kau nak cakap, whatever is she wearing melambangkan kekafiran yang tak patut diikut oleh Muslimah macam dia?

Kamu silap kawan-kawan.Yuna sendiri dah khabarkan di twitter mengatakan style dia malam tu macam JEDI. So instead of ikut kau punya POV, baik aku percaya orang punya badan. Sebab dia tak cakap pulak dia pakai macam biarawati. Yang korang pikiaq bukan-bukan apsai. Bodoh! Fuck you and your misleading eyes.

Sebab dia dah cakap macam jedi. So korang sepatutnya komen "Yuna pakai macam jedi kan. Tak elok lah yuna sebab ideologi jedi dalam starwars tu telah mengakibatkan kemunculan suatu agama post-moden bernama jediism. Tak elok yuna tiru depa.Apa kata yuna pakai tudung menunjukkan keIslaman. Thanks yuna. May the force be with you. "

HA BARU LA BETUI. KRITIK SECARA BERTAULIAH.NAK KRITIK ORANG BOLEH TAK KENA BALIK KAT DIA. NI KRITIK TAK BERASAS PADAHAL ORANG TU DAH CLEARLY CAKAP DIA TU MEMANG DIINFLUENCE BY JEDI (KALAU HANG STALK DIA BANYAK MACAM AKU HANG AKAN PAHAM)

Ingin dinyatakan, kritikan diatas hanya sesuai dari seseorang yang suka mengaitkan sesuatu benda dengan benda kafir. Kalau korang macam aku yang stock tak cari alasan nak mengaitkan semua benda dengan benda kafir, just stfu. If you feel like commenting, komen lah pasal performance dia ke. Baju dia nampak lawa ke. QChord dia nampak cool. Seriously dude, from how I see her, she's still a good Muslim. A struggling Muslim just like us. So stop giving her a hard time bout apperance and all. On a bright side, the tudung is still intact, the leher masih tertutup, she's still awesome like usual. No dramas. No bullshit like "seleburiti" yang lain. What can you ask more? Support her. If there's need to criticize please la give a valid and very clever point. She's no stupid. You give her something logical enough, I bet dia akan faham. Ni ada ka kutuk tudung dia nampak macam orang Afrika lah. Macam biarawati lah. Hangpa dah takda modal nak kutuk orang yang kurang kontroversi?

Aku rasa the reason why Yuna beria gila dengan jedi punya style, sebab maybe ada kat US yang maha ignorant tu cam tak tau nak kaitkan hijab style dia dengan apa maybe cakap "wei hang nampak macam jedi". Ye la orang Amerika kan suka rasa macam dia familiar with stuff walaupun deep down inside depa tak tau pun Yuna pakai macam tu sebab KEWAJIPAN. Kalau aku jadi Yuna, mesti aku pun cam "Yeay cool. They can associate me with something cool. Jedi is cool. Why not referring myself as MALAYSIAN JEDI? "( INI TEORI AKU SEBAB YE AKU SUKA BUAT TEORI SENDIRI SEBAB AKU MEMANG SUKA HEY HEY. JANGAN PERCAYA)

I think it's cool. Whatever makes her a cool Malaysian Muslimah, I'm just down with it.

Korang yang suka2 kritik tak berasas ni sabar lah weh. Benda2 nak jadi perfect Muslimah ni ambil masa tau. Selagi ada usaha, pasti ada kejayaan. Right? Baby step Baby. Baby step.

=)


Kbye.

Wiki pasal Jediism: Wikipedia

HISB: Bagaimana nak jadi fashionista muslimah ( Berdasarkan observation aku yang tak sebarapa ini)

Bagaimana hendak menjadi fashionista muslimah di Malaysia? Bila aku cakap fashionista, aku maksudkan macam kau boleh jadi trendsetter, bila orang nampak kau pakai, orang rasa "eh cantik lah.mungkin aku patut cuba style itu" (Regardless of their body types).

Senang sahaja.

PERTAMA, KENA KURUS. KALAU TAKDA CURVE LAGI BAGUS.

Rasional - Sebab senang nak pakai skinny jeans, seluar straight habis supaya nampak kaki straight tanpa isi-isi chunky over-over sangat macam aku punya kaki. Tujuan pakai seluar skinny nak mampos agar senang nak pakai fashionable dresses/tops. Supaya boleh balance out, seluar kecik, baju besaq. So kalau pakai seluar bagak/longgar habis, it won't look as nice compared to seluar yg kasi ilusi bentuk kaki. The same rule applies kalau pakai seluaq besaq, baju kena lah nampak kecik sket.Disini pentingnya kalau takda boobs besar2 so boleh pakai baju just nice without thinking "shit nanti orang nampak boobs besar aku kang orang cakap aku tak muslimah habis."

Ingat lemak-lemak di tempat yang boleh menaikkan syahwat sesetngah orang perlu dielakkan sebab kau nak jadi contoh untuk muslimah. Orang nak tengok kau tertutup dan tak nampak apa-apa. Lemak kasi distraction. Kalau over lemak, orang akan cakap "wei pegi diet."Kalau lemak just nice,sedap kang orang cakap "uiii seksi nya makngah." Kriteria ini umpama nak menjadi model tanpa ketinggian. Hahahaha. Model kau ingat kenapa dia kurus bagai. Because distraction kurang di gambar. Yang paling penting adalah benda apa dia pakai dan...MUKA DIA, THAT HIGH CHEEKBONES oooohhh sangat sedap. Tapi nak jadi fashionable muslimah, muka tak sangat diambil kira, asalkan ok dipandang (kalau memang cantik betul, fuyoo 1000+ brownie points). Jalan. Sebab mesej penting kau nak bawak kat sini adalah, AKU MUSLIMAH SEJATI DAN AKU PANDAI BERFESYEN!

KEDUA, PANDAI MIX AND MATCH.

Rasional - Sebab kau pakai dari atas ke bawah. Covering them all. So make sure orang bukan nampak pokok tapi nampak kau yang cantik jelita.

KETIGA, PANDAI LETAK AKSESORI MENARIK

Rasional - Mesti lah, takkan kau pakai tudung baju. Lepas tu takde apa-apa? Mesti lah orang nak tengok ada detail-detail kecik yang comel-comel. Pin ke, rantai besar2 ke, bunga-bunga besar kat tudung.

KEEMPAT, KENA PANDAI MAKE UP!!

Rasional - Nak accentuate mata besa2, cheekbones tinggi, bibir mmm sedappp. Hahahaha. Dan jangan lupa pakai contact lens warna-warna tau. Kasi bila orang tengok terus mesmerized dan cakap "Awak lah the true muslimah yang saya cari!!"


Basically, sama rules camna nak jadi fashionable perempuan tidak bertudung (AKU TAK FAHAM KONSEP PANGGIL ORANG BERTUDUNG MUSLIMAH, PANGGIL ORANG TAK BERTUDUNG, ORANG TAK BERTUDUNG. SEBAB KALAU LETAK MUSLIMAH KANG ADA PLAK CAKAP "MANA ADA MUSLIMAH. HANG TAK PAKAI TUDUNG. JANGAN MISLEADING SANGAT" cakap la apa-apa wei, agama orang bertudung dan tidak bertudung still sama gak kan kan kan kan? kalau hangpa rasa pakai tudung tu memang dah boleh panggil muslimah, biaq pi hangpa, asal hangpa hepi.)

Tapi kelebihan orang tak bertudung, bila depa seksi sket orang tak bising sebab konsep orang kita "aku tak kenai hang, mampos hang, hang tak pakai tudung sebab hang nak seksi kan?". Tapi kalau orang bertudung seksi sikit, amik hang, AWAK TIDAK MENGIKUT LANDASAN-LANDASAN YANG DITETAPKAN! Why the double standard?

Ingat senang ke orang bertudung tu decide nak pakai tudung. Ye mesti la kitaorg tahu itu memang diwajibkan. Hang ingat aku pi sekolah dulu belajaq apa?But instead firing people cakap wei hang salah! Baik hangpa cakap "EH AWAK NAMPAK TETEK AWAK, LAGI BAGUS KALAU TUDUNG DITURUNKAN SUPAYA KAVER TETEK AWAK DAN AWAK AKAN NAMPAK LEBIH CANTIK". Kan ke manis. Macam orang try nak suruh orang tak bertudung pakai tudung gak lah. Kalau je nampak orang tak bertudung pakai tudung (for certain occassions), "KAN CANTIK TU PAKAI TUDUNG" Jadi kalau nak suruh orang ikut apa yang kau rasa betul. Guna ayat elok-elok.

Ok berbalik kepada topik asal. Aku takda masalah dengan fashionista muslimah. Sebab depa ni aku rasa macam simbolik hipster muslimah. Wahahahah. Macam kelihatan cool. Tapi apa aku cakap kat atas tu based on observation aku lah, bila seseorang itu mendapat ikutan ramai sebab cara dia berfesyen. Aku mesti cari persamaan dia dengan fasionista muslimah yang lain.

YES MEMANG TERBUKTI KEBANYAKKAN FASHIONISTA MUSLIMAH KENA MEMPUNYAI KRITERIA YANG SESUAI UNTUK PAKAI SELUAR SKINNY TAPI STILL NAMPAK MACAM SELUAR BIASA. HAHAHAH. TAK PERCAYA? LOOK AROUND PLEASE. =)

And please if sapa-sapa baca, don't give me a preach on how muslimah should dress because SAYA SUDAH TAHU! Saya bet fashionista muslimah semua pun dah tahu. =)

Haih teringat zaman belajar kat amerika dulu. Orang arab cun gila. Serious dowh. Macam depa takyah buat apa-apa, just pakai jubah hitam tudung tak fancy mancy lansung, tapi stilll MasyaAllah, cantik gileeeee. Time first year, depa suka cakap aku comel, sebab aku nampak macam budak-budak. They even macam manjakan aku then cakap "You're so cute". Aku senyum. Tapi dalam hati "WTF MAN I'M 19"

Hehehe memories.

OK dah merapu. So yeah, remember you muslimah out there. Work that thing girls! But make sure, ikut landasan-landasan yang ditetapkan. As for me, ammm biar masa menentukan ok?

HISB: Cara cheapskate supaya baju anda nampak cantik dalam majalah.

Praktikal. Boleh diguna pakai kalau model yang sepatutnya bertugas sakit perut, maka model bidan terjun yang berbeza saiz sikit kena ganti.

Betul tak?

HISB: Kenapa Rick Moranis ( Ayah dalam Honey I Shrunk The Kids) Tak Berlakon Dah.

Dia bersara dari dunia lakonan selepas isteri dia meninggal dunia akibat kanser hati.

Kenapa?

Nak jaga anak-anak der. Kau hado macam tu?

Sumber: Wikipedia

HISB: Tips berguna untuk mengasah pisau cukur dan sekaligus menjimatkan $$$

Pernah tak pakai pisau cukur yang guna 'refill razor blade'? Daripada membuang duit beli refill, nah satu cara nak 'restore' razor blade tu supaya ia boleh diguna berulang-ulang kali.

Caranya?

Asah dengan seluar jeans. Senang kan?

Aku tak pasti lah kalau untuk pisau cukur perempuan boleh guna tips ni ke tak. Nanti aku try, mana tau boleh. Kalau boleh, tak payah beli refill cartdriges selalu sangat, jimat 30 ringgit!!